Monday, December 17, 2001

McDonald’s Chocolate Milkshake Opera

I sit in my car at a McDonald’s restaurant drive-thru.

A voice comes on the intercom.

“May I take your order,” the voice says.

“I’d like a chocolate shake.”

There is a short pause the intercom comes to life.

“Okay…drive around.”

I pull up to the drive-through window. I see a woman inside, making my milkshake.

She wears a nametag.

Her name is Carmen.

She opens the window of the drive-thru and hands me the shake.

“You’re eligible for a free CD,” she says.

“What kind?”

“It’s the opera ‘Carmen’,” she replies.

“Sure,” I say. “That would be fine.”

I drive my truck around to the front of the restaurant. I shut off the engine, grab my milkshake and get out of the truck.

I open the doors of the restaurant and go inside.

I sit down at a table and begin sipping my milkshake through the straw.

A UPS van drives up outside the restaurant. The driver gets out and walks inside with a package.

He comes to the table and hands me the package. As he walks away, I open it.

The envelope contains a CD of the opera ‘Carmen’.

A fancy certificate falls out of the envelope.

The certificate reads, “Order a hamburger from Bertha and get Wagner’s “Ring” cycle, absolutely free.”

I’m not in the mood for a hamburger.

Then I woke up.

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